Dear Superman aka Annoying Neighborhood Kid

I will speak slowly, so you will understand. My dog is huge. About the size of a very large Tyrannosaurus Rex, in fact. He will eat you. Taking all of this information into consideration, please, for your safety, quit peeping through our privacy fence to taunt your nemesis--Junior. I've asked you nicely, very nicely to ignore your curiosities. The frail barrier of a deteriorating fence between you and my otherwise angel of a dog might not be the protecting force you believe it is. I will gladly throw your ball back over the fence if it lands in my yard, but I once again, I respectly insist that you leave Kryptonite, I mean, Junior alone to enjoy the peacefulness of the outdoors without the racket of you banging on my fence.

Sincerely,

Your Loving Neighbor